200 Miles an Hour but Really Hard to Park

  • By Development Team
  • 29 Apr, 2016
The Bugatti Veyron Super Sport – wow what a car! Top speed of Warp Factor 6, and can also stop so fast that your head has to play catch up with your body when the brakes are applied. 16 cylinders, 4 turbochargers, and you can pick one up for the bargain price of 1.5 million dollars. But sad to say, it’s sold out so better luck next time. Considering an oil change costs $20,000 and a new set of four tires is $25,000, well it might not be a bad thing there are none left. But hang on, did I tell you they are really hard to park?
 
So you have to ask yourself what use would these cars be? Like the average speed on the highways all over the world (except the German Autobahn) is 60 miles an hour and the Veyron can do that before it thinks about second gear and it has 6 more gears to go! It has a ground clearance of a whopping 4.6 inches, so say oops and find another way when faced with the speed bumps of today’s suburbia. Did I also say unless you’re at the front door of any 5-star luxury hotel, it’s really hard to park!
 
Some people love them and laid down the hard cold cash to get one, but they are not exactly driving them around with the partner, kids and Muffin the pet poodle. But hang on, it has no back seat so forget the kids.

Yes, 200 miles an hour might be fun and exciting, but it can also be useless except for the privileged few. I think if you had a quiet moment alone they might also whisper, “fun but really hard to park!”
   
The big question? Do you have a 200 MPH website that’s really hard to park? Or maybe you’re thinking about one?

It’s a really good question, and I must admit we see a lot of them. Websites that have got so much flash boom and bang that you would think that Steven Spielberg advised them, sites that have so many twists and turns to find information that you wonder if frustration was the reason behind the site rather than information!
 
These sites have Forums, plus log ins, plus lots of brochures, plus enough videos to rival You Tube, plus plus, plus everything else you can imagine, and oh my absolute favorite words and words and words that will make the Encyclopedia Britannica look like a magazine.

Yep, all these things can make a site looks like it can do 200 miles an hour, but gee it’s difficult to park!

The Bugatti Veyron might be “oh so nice” in the garage but if a quick trip to 7/11 is on the cards, I think the BMW parked next to it might get the nod for the brisk little sojourn. It will do the job just fine and still looks sexy.

So what’s a website really supposed to do? It’s supposed to promote your business, give people enough information that will allow them to make a choice on booking or buying and it has to be a great first impression, that’s it.
Maybe, instead of getting into a design that will go 200 mph? Maybe, it’s best to look at a design that’s like a BMW – still fast, still sexy, but you can easily park it!
By Development Team 01 Jun, 2017

Ok, a serious blog today about a serious question. Automated website builders? We see it every day and we get constantly asked if we believe automated site builders can create great customer attraction programs. Every time I get asked this question, I think of a great scene from the movie I,Robot when the character played by Will Smith is trying to explain why he really dislikes robots.

Will Smiths says: “Um, look, this isn't what I do, but I've got an idea for one of your commercials. You see... a carpenter, making a beautiful chair. And then one of your robots comes in and makes a better chair twice as fast. And then you superimpose on the screen, "USR: Shittin' on the Little Guy". That would be the fade-out”.

Maybe I’m old school like Will Smith was in the movie. But, my feelings are that everything that is creative in this world? A human does it better. A robot must be programmed to do it. It’s not natural, it doesn’t come from the heart. So, do I believe automatic site builders are a good thing? The answer is a big NO. What’s more, I love the joy I see on a fresh graduate’s face when they start a new job and design their first site. I love it when one of our crew make a design that a customer sends them a big huge rap and grateful words. I love what our crew create.

Now before I get attacked by all the technocrats on being old school, let me add in some details that are not emotionally motivated.

The auto builder features that say they can just search all your current sites details and content and copy it over to a new site? Yes, possible but it’s a bit all over the place and a human must take over and make it look at least clean and tidy. An auto builder using a template and your typing input? Yep, that can work but you end up with a bunch of clone sites.

Customer attraction programs is what we call them not websites. And, if your site is going to be the first web impression potential customers see of your business, don’t you want them to see the best?

So, maybe it costs a few dollars more. Maybe there is a little back and forth. But in the end, it’s all about no second chance on a first impression. And, you should let your customers see the best of you.

Unless…Your selling to Robots huh.

By Development Team 02 May, 2017

Do you remember that show? Wow, they would have a bunch of people go through a series of three stunts, all super dangerous, like driving fast cars over a bridge, or through fire and explosions. But, the stunts that usually got everybody talking were the eating strange disgusting things or lying in a glass case having a close encounter with all sorts of nasty stuff.

Some of the things they made people eat were shocking. A quick sample of delicacies include African cave dwelling spiders – nasty things with big long legs with claws at the end of them, and hello they were alive and had to be chewed before swallowing.

What about sheep’s eyes? Yep, these lovely little balls of cooked joy are bad enough but to make it worse, the contestants were surrounded by live sheep looking at them straight in the eye whilst the contestant devoured one of their relatives former looking glass of life.

Tarantulas, snakes, raw sewerage, all sorts of fun and joy made for a super show. Yes, just the thought of this stuff was enough to elevate the “FEAR” factor but the host, Joe Rogan, was also famous for really talking up the fear. Telling the contestants how disgusting the thing was they were about to eat, really talking it up before the contestant could look at it and have attempt to do the task. The silly part? Often the stuff they had to eat although looking awful really had no taste or wasn’t that bad at all, you just must get it past the lips! LOL.

When it comes to talking up the fear factor in the web world? I tell you, Joe Rogan does not compare to what the SPAM emailers get up to. They can send you information so awful and frightening that you will swear your super sexy website is a disaster and has every problem except for maybe the plague!

I read them, customers read them, then get me to read them and it is very scary. They will have stats upon stats telling us how we have “100’s” of issues with our website. The fear factor they build up is terrible and you get to the point you’re even worried your customers might catch a virus if they look at it. Yes folks, the fear factor driven up by these email spammers form all sorts of strange and wonderful lands is not just scary, it’s a pain in the you know what.

Is the fear real? In most cases no. They will pick all sorts of obscure, mean-nothing, technical issues that really have zero to do with the performance of your site. All they want to do is create the illusion of a tarantula on the plate, a rat in the sewer and make you as scared as possible for you to email them back and sign up for something that really you don’t need.

So, if you get those emails? You can be on the safe side. Don’t even get involved in the show, do a quick check with google or your web developer to settle your nerves, then maybe find a crunchy bowl of scorpions to munch on whilst you watch Joe talk it up on the reruns.


Have a great day!

 


 

 

By Development Team 31 Mar, 2017

Back in the day, the 70’s to be exact, you could hear the sweet sounds of Simon and Garfunkel singing “Bridge over troubled water” whilst you cruised the streets in your 1970 Ford Galaxy. The song was number one and the figures for the Galaxy? Wow, you would be so excited as you achieved an average of 12mpg! Which was okay as gas was only 36 cents a gallon.

But fast forward ten years and wow what a difference. You’re now squashed into a Honda Hatchback as gas has hit $1.31 a gallon and you’re singing along to blondie belting out the hit “Call me”

Yes, ten years is not a long time but wow did things change for the car industry back in the 70s. The old gas guzzlers just could not do it anymore and no longer fit the market. But the big three kept making them and sooner than later they had acres of unsold cars whilst the Japanese imports had a waiting list and people ready with pen in hand to sign on the dotted line.

The website business in 2017 has a lot in common with the 1970s Car industry, and the gas guzzler now are desktop sites. The big game changer is not the price of gas, it’s the evolution and expansion of the mobile connection.

3g, 4g, Wireless, Fiber Optic – all these speed demons have made it so we are now a Mobile World. You won’t see people walking around the streets carrying a gas guzzling desktop computer on their back. They will have the mobile in hand or they will be sitting on the toilet looking at their next consumer purchase on the new awesome IPad.

Yes folks, for the desktop design? There is a “bridge over troubled water”!

But? Like the big three back in the day, a lot of business will stick to the old, gotta look awesome on the 26-inch screen, and let’s just shrink it down for those customers that choose the phone or the tablet to look for us.

The fact is? The thinking should be the reverse. We should be thinking, “wow, how can make the site look awesome on mobile and the desktop should be the end game”. We should be focusing on how to make our websites’ Customer Attraction Programs that get consumers wanting to book and buy rather than sit there and read.

So, guys and gals, let’s not sing when you’re weary feeling small, let’s get all excited, let’s get into the new age, break away from those troubled waters, give the gas guzzler a rest and get into the Mobile Evolution, and if you need help? Call me…

Big Hugs from TheCamel


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